Die now. There is no tomorrow. Bright sunny morning it should be, one with little sparrows chirping in the wind. Why do we even think it’s going to work? Alone and helpless. Vulnerable is passé. Agony is subtle. Are you insane or the world just turned you down?
I enter this feeling with trepidation, not because it has come before and left me cringing, but because its there. I write now, but ill regret it later. Foolhardy expectations from this path I’m on, maybe love will cross paths, maybe there will be a defining moment, but most of all there will be the silence. For years now, it has been a struggle to let go, to vanish without a trace.Fly without feeling. But the creator hath done and hence we believe. To live is to suffer. To die is to be reborn in another life. There is no help, but within.Outside, you are defined, defensive, defeatable.Your skin crawls, your breath reeks, and your hands shake. But you trudge on, little knowing that the end is far more terrifying than what we bargained for.here.
Excuse me sir, but is that your guilt? It has no place here. No vacancy in neon. Blinding lights follow me, cursing me, questioning my ways. What happened to the mute button, I mutter. People stare, talk ,share , feel and listen. And piece by piece, I shrivel. Forgive me father, for I confessed. This isn’t what I wanted to be. This is what I believed. Wholeheartedly.
Fly now. The earth is shrinking. People on the busy streets, with wires in their ears. Hearing and seeing, but never believing. Green light, orange light, Red. Screeching breaks, one sigh and commotion. Blood, I see, racing across the road, like a caged bird which is set free. I bite my knuckles, struggling to control my convultions. I look up,and the crows are circling up above, a deathly spiral. Escape is impossible, the human multitude encircles me. I try to scream. One defining sound, and All is Silent.